Raising kids in this new world

I was reminded this morning that raising my son is different then when I was raised and even more different than my mom was raised.

In my mom's house as a child, children did what they were told or they would be beat with the belt or a hand, switch or wooden spoon. Threats and things taking away. Yelled at, sent to be with out dinner... all sorts of behavior that was common place practice in disciplining children (perhaps even you as a child).

This made for mostly compliant but broken children doing what they are told out of fear and what truly amounts to blatant violence against children. Subjecting them to your angry rage when they step out of tow.

In my house, as a child, having grown up with a mother who had grown up with her parents, she decided to do it her way. Her was was far less physical and more mental and emotional methods, guilting the child into doing what they should. When I mis behaved I was yelled at, but then the attention would be gone again and I would be left to my own devices.

In my son's house, he has grown up with a mother who is struggling to find the adequate solutions for these age old problems that doesn't include violence, anger or manipulation to help her son succeed. Instead, I value listening and learning from my child to guide him in whatever way I can. To rule with Love above everything else. To stay focused on the positives to build his confidence to achieve these things on his own.

It isn't helpful today when we are trying to teach our children about truth and doing what is right, then they sit in front of a TV and watch the kids on there cause all kinds of chaos, make all kinds of mischief, and its alright, because its all for a laugh. But then you try to live those morals out in the real world and you get smacked in the forehead with anger.

So what is the right thing to do? I will no go backwards. I just have to be a smarter mother. I need to find a peaceful, non violent, non manipulative way to teach self love, self governance and self respect so that when he is asked to show love, governance and respect to others, he has a frame of reference for which to do so.

Today we talked about telling the truth. We talked about how the truth will set you free forever, while a lie may only set you free long enough to tie you up.

He must discover what is the truth for him and not to be afraid of it or ashamed to feel the way he does. He must not be led to believe that he is wrong and adults are right and he needs to change to fit in. The world needs us all to be who and what we are without apologies. It is our responsibility to learn to be ourselves while loving and respecting others. Striving to live in harmony with the things around us, lifting them up a little bit more every time you are with them, instead of beating them down.

Love to you all.