Past Life After after thoughts

Upon thinking about the information now after thinking about a little more I feel inclined to include more information that is coming through now.

When I think of the first life information it makes some sense to me in that and this might sound really ridiculous, but I was a gynormous Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan in my late teen early twenty years, my specific fascination being with the Spike character, to such degree it propelled me into the graphic arts to compete with other nerdy Spiketts making tribute banners and avatars for one another in creative appreciation for the show we all loved to love. The idea of literally drinking blood with this body is disgusting, but when imagining another beings desire to do that, I am not disgusted, simply intrigued but more sympathetic, what a painful thing it would be for someone who felt the connection to all that is yet is physically compelled to take the life of another. Inner turmoil and conflict that could last lifetimes. I am so sad just thinking about it now. strange and irrational huh, none the less, it is what comes out.

To the crippled ear life I can say that I have drawn a picture of that event but when I went to write the blog twice I miss typed the story my grandfather told me, the story I included in my original blog, but the miss type was that the man crippled ear cut his own ear off in defense or defiance, neither of which to my logical mind makes any sense. So I decided to include the story I had heard repeatedly growing up instead.

To the third life I can say that This woman was bathes in light and seems as if she had fallen a great distance. I felt when the information was being pulled through that she was very light and very bright and to the right if that makes any sense.

She was very certainly a she though any man would give her their ear in an instant for she was so clear as a bell, so resonant that any being would fancy a chat with her. Wise, eager to help. I perceive her environment as bright light, columns and streams of it. You can sort of jump into currents to travel to places, between places, there are many paths of light that have been worn over time from others who have traveled. You know how to get there you just must let yourself see it in your minds eye. She see the currents are pulling more people in a certain direction.

This is her job, to monitor the flow of some of these channels. important work. difficult and sometimes very, there is no word, it is across between stern and sad and compassionate and decisive and discernment. In other words, to play the balance of power verses guidance, she must take a myriad of variables into consideration. I can imagine her from a very high perspective watching currents of colored light flowing over a massive circuit board the size of 10 lane freeways criss crossing in every direction.

SUDDENLY IT RAINS. And I am reminded of my reoccurring dream i had when I was a kid.
It was of three images repeating like flashing one after the other:

one was a white house with flowers in the front yard, purple and blue ones, but it wasn't a happy house but it sure looked happy enough on the outside. I only ever could see it from the street, never from the inside only this lame cleche of a house.

Second image is of enormous, very powerful metal pistons, a whole set of them. They are pounding the rhythms fiercely and mechanically, cold hard, empty and persistent.

The third one I don't recall exactly only that I know there were three. The only thing I can guess is that it had to do with numbers because I have a vivid memory of going into the kitchen as a young child and seeing large sesame street like numbers, thick colorful numbers as real as day dancing on the cabinets and they scared the living daylights out of me.

I think her job might be a duty/honor/privilege to guard the flow. She takes it very seriously. I also have this image when I think of her that there is an eye very high on the wall of eyes and hers is near the top with her friends around her governing together. We are about to turn our collective gaze in a new direction and she and they will be leading/coordinating/guiding/guarding it isn't like we are the boss but we are the guardians. we guard.

She saw the flare of energy rising up on earth. Things were shifting. From her perspective all her lives past were incorporated fully so she could easily recall any pic of useful data at any second, the memories of her past experiences with nuclear power and explosions so when earth people had that power and the interest in that planet went up she turned her attention like the others upon her sphere.
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Well that is what I was got but then got distracted by the world her on earth again.. Ill talk to you soon

Past Life Regression Meditation 1

This meditation occurred at Between 7:30 am and 8:07am today 5-16-2010

Process: I attempted to access the main branch of the Akashic library in the central sun. I imagined that I was in a library with large white pillars and glass or fine crystal windows floor to ceiling. It was all filling with fantastic light. At first I tried to imagine it mentally only and I heard "you were crippled ear. It was you who lost your ear" and I wrote it down on the paper. But then something instinctual happened. I closed my eyes again and this time when I looked through my minds eye I actually spoke aloud as if a small bookeeper came up to me to ask if I needed assistance, I said yes, I am looking for information on a past life, for you know. And I meagerly swiped my hands down from face to sternum, this being... I imagined the little man nod and walk away, then in an instant I was holding a black bound leather book. When the book opened it I could see only the darkest shades of red and black. I scribbled with my hands (in real time present what I was seeing in my minds eye) writing the following lines:
Life 1: much brutality
violent people high in sexual energy
hungry for life
thirsty for blood, they drank blood, male energy

Then I asked if I could see the most recent life before this one and this is what I received:
much sadness
she is in the higher realms, upper echelon
very bright, over achiever
she saw such anguish
she is seeing so much brutality and pain on earth
why why why
She must know why?!?! why!?!
she must see it for herself
so I am here
Toumblesd humbled
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The crippled ear thing relates to a story from my grandfathers side of the family, the greek side where I was told that our family name was Kousefdakis meaning "crippled ear" and the story being that a great grandfather was in battle where another man cut off his ear.

Raising kids in this new world

I was reminded this morning that raising my son is different then when I was raised and even more different than my mom was raised.

In my mom's house as a child, children did what they were told or they would be beat with the belt or a hand, switch or wooden spoon. Threats and things taking away. Yelled at, sent to be with out dinner... all sorts of behavior that was common place practice in disciplining children (perhaps even you as a child).

This made for mostly compliant but broken children doing what they are told out of fear and what truly amounts to blatant violence against children. Subjecting them to your angry rage when they step out of tow.

In my house, as a child, having grown up with a mother who had grown up with her parents, she decided to do it her way. Her was was far less physical and more mental and emotional methods, guilting the child into doing what they should. When I mis behaved I was yelled at, but then the attention would be gone again and I would be left to my own devices.

In my son's house, he has grown up with a mother who is struggling to find the adequate solutions for these age old problems that doesn't include violence, anger or manipulation to help her son succeed. Instead, I value listening and learning from my child to guide him in whatever way I can. To rule with Love above everything else. To stay focused on the positives to build his confidence to achieve these things on his own.

It isn't helpful today when we are trying to teach our children about truth and doing what is right, then they sit in front of a TV and watch the kids on there cause all kinds of chaos, make all kinds of mischief, and its alright, because its all for a laugh. But then you try to live those morals out in the real world and you get smacked in the forehead with anger.

So what is the right thing to do? I will no go backwards. I just have to be a smarter mother. I need to find a peaceful, non violent, non manipulative way to teach self love, self governance and self respect so that when he is asked to show love, governance and respect to others, he has a frame of reference for which to do so.

Today we talked about telling the truth. We talked about how the truth will set you free forever, while a lie may only set you free long enough to tie you up.

He must discover what is the truth for him and not to be afraid of it or ashamed to feel the way he does. He must not be led to believe that he is wrong and adults are right and he needs to change to fit in. The world needs us all to be who and what we are without apologies. It is our responsibility to learn to be ourselves while loving and respecting others. Striving to live in harmony with the things around us, lifting them up a little bit more every time you are with them, instead of beating them down.

Love to you all.

Re-turned to me

It is possible our paths would cross
in so many many ways
so that we wander
less entangled
then our early days.

How is it then you came to be
so far from me?
Hear you whisper... nothing there;
feel you, see you
everywhere.

How far have you gone?
From where have you been?
Our two paths traveled,
worn thin,
winding in.

Now, hither back home!
I'm waiting for thee,
sitting lazily on yonder tree
gazing earnestly for you to be
the very next person that I see

Walking back home again.
Warm smile, dear old friend;
Full embrace, kiss the face
and love that I have been so graced
to be with you again this day.

Reunited in such a way,
Time no longer holds his sway
The binds of form falls away
And what remains
sings songs of praise

For from this day
we shall remain
one brilliant light, once two.
United now, re-turned to me
and I re-turned to you.


(c) Brandyrox

Channeling

You see, I have always been connected to the world we can not see. From the time I was a small child, very small, I always spoke to empty rooms, dolls, as if there was someone else there. One might say it was a habitual form of pretend. It was helpful in my theatrical life. You see we all speak to the void. We all "let things out", or vent to the world our frustration or our anger. We also let it out in trans-formative ways like through written works, art, theatre, and singing.

Life is full of opportunities to connect to this unseen force. The way point in the still mind. This is paramount to finding the truth in your own life. Paramount for connecting with spirit, and paramount if you want to be able to create or continue with anything ever with out distraction.

You can feel us when we move through you.We tingle a little and there is an almost inaudible ringing in the distance. We dance with you too.

We know it has been hard, that we seem far away, but trust that we have learned as you have. There is no need for willy nilly. Sometimes a little forethought is necessary to drive your own path. But faith is just as valuable. You need both your wits and your heart to govern anywhere.

When the moon is in the 7th house and jupiter align with mars, then planet earth will see the sun rise and man will see the sky.


We shall call him from within. Then the choice. Do you wish to stay or do you wish to move onward. You must choose to do so without fear. You must chose whole heartedly. You must be full of your own convictions and not those of others. Choice lies only within. For after one awesome fantastic mission is over another one is assigned. Time is INFINITE. Experience is INFINITE. LOVE is INFINITE.

You and INFINITE. Ponder this daily. Remember that the little things are transient and will pass, let them not waver you from your course. THose that wish to hear the word of the Highest High, will hear it. Those who call out to it, shall be seen.

We love you always
Allah

Event 4 captured April 10, 2010
Brandyrox and freinds

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Perhaps I see nothing at all, for I am nothing at all and everything

Perhaps you dream it all
perahaps no one will listen
perhaps you are alone
perhaps things will be ok
perhaps things will be better
perhaps you will feel better


where is this perhaps?

when is this perhaps?

how will you know when perhaps turns into happening?

Let go already will you

let go of your control or lack there of

let go of fear

let go of doubt

let your heart and mind wander into a place that is unbelieveble and real

then you will see that there is no right, no wrong, only is

there is no separation, no division, only is

let go of this notion that something is wrong, or something went wrong, for even the work mistake is perhaps mistaken for everything has purpose and those things we call mistakes are actually lessons. Lessons you can either take or not take, to not take it would be to miss the lesson before you. (miss-take)

There is nothing else for today.

Love to you always - Goodbye

brandyrox and friends.

When you do speak out or speak up...

Is it ever alright to feel angry at someone? Is it every alright to be upset or disappointed? How about when its a positive thing and you are embarrassed? I have two examples of what I am talking about here and the choices I made in response to them. I invite comments.

Lets say you work with someone and perhaps you didn't start out on the best terms but your relationship has much improved since. Now imagine that their job is vital and that having confidence in their work is a challenge because of all the things that happened in the past with them. The time they messed up something and then this other time when the ball was dropped, yet another time when they didn't follow through or whatever. So you use this information to tell a story. There could have been plenty of times they came through for you, but still this story and its many moving parts are boiled down to a sentence or phrase or two that makes its way into the ears of your sort-of work friends ears. Your co worker then is reprimanded for it but they were told that it was you who brought it up, you who complained. How will you react to this person when you see them again?

Second and different scenario. Imagine that you have a friend of the opposite sex. You met through a mutual friend and after that friend moved, the two of you continue to hang out. Things are moving along fine until one day you realize that you have feelings for this person and it is more than friendship. You struggle internally to decide whether or not it is worth sacrificing a really great friendship to admit that you want to be more than friends. There are many things to consider, but the heart knows what the heart knows and no amount of logical thinking can remove it. So maybe you muster up the courage to do the bare minimum in regard to "outing" yourself, you shoot a text message that states that you wished you could have kissed them, and that's perhaps why it "feels weird" sometimes. You usually hang out every Saturday night. How will you face that person when you do see them?

In both cases, being honest and speaking the truth exposed my feelings but also had an impact on the people around me, on the subjects at hand. Simply, speaking out moved the plot forward, though in both situations only my perspective of the truth was applied.

I want to tell my co-worker thank you for allowing me to see that I have been putting this road block in front of you because of the lowered expectations I have of you, it is unfair that I have not noticed or recognized those times when you helped me. But at the same time, I see that this lack of trust in your performance can be changed because I know you are capable. I love you and thank you for all the times you got it perfect.

In the second case, I was finally able to speak the truth that had been burning a hole inside of me for a little while. The real question remains, why do I feel embarrassed to have feelings for someone? Why do I feel wrong about it? Shouldn't I feel excited and happy like I really did find something special? Instead something in side of me says, uh oh, you did it again didn't you.

What is wrong with me that I feel wrong for falling in love? That I feel sad about it. Perhaps it rests in these old belief systems that tell me that I am not worthy of love for such and such a reason. They won't like me back for this and this reason. If they liked me then yadda yadda yadda, you get the drift. Instead of just saying, listen friend, this is how I feel what do you think about that and then being brave enough to find out what the answer is, opposed to guessing what the answer will be and being afraid of it.

I will no longer be ashamed for feeling how I feel. I am not afraid that you will not feel the same way, but I do consider it a possibility. Whatever the outcome, know that I love you and think so highly of you that I would want to be paired with you. You are special in my eyes. Thank you for showing me that I still have some fear and now that it is visible, I can let it go.

I suppose it doesn't really matter either way how the situations unfold, only how I chose to react and then digest the information. How will I use this new information to form and shape my decisions moving forward, for isn't that the ever present challenge. Eventually I will leave the confines of these specific lessons and move into more and more profound and potentially challenging ones, but for now, one breath at a time. One download of data at a time, piece by piece building the story that will one day be my life. Hopefully, it will not boil down to a two or three sentence summation defining one small glimpse of a single perspective.